The illusion of the quick fix

It’s no secret that we live in an era of “quick fixes.” Technology and science have made instant gratification the mantra of the 21st century.

In generations past, the average citizen simply did not have the means to satisfy all of their “urges” or correct every imagined problem with the push of a button or the drop of a credit card. The satisfaction of needs and wants took longer and occurred more organically, if at all. We didn’t feel we had any choice in the matter.

But now the technology is so ubiquitous and affordable that virtually all of us in the “developed” world have access to Quick Fixes in almost every area of ​​our lives. We can get down to business without doing any of the crucial steps in between. We can instantly satisfy all our needs. Or at least we think we can.

• Do you want better health? Take a pill, there’s one for everything!
• Do you want instant wealth? Come up with the right “dot.com” idea and sell it overnight for millions!
• Do you want a new relationship? Ditch the old one, join eHarmony and find a hotter or richer partner in ten minutes!
• Hungry? Do you need an energy boost? Grab a blast of sugar and a Venti Mocha Latte at your nearest coffee shop or drive-thru!
• Do you want friends? Join a chat group!
• Are you looking for sexual gratification? Internet pornography is one click away!
• Do you want to find the meaning of life? Take a weekend seminar!
• Bored? Turn on the 51-inch plasma TV or iPod! Have a drink! Smoke some weed! Take a pill!
• Lonely? Send a text message!
• Hungry for knowledge? Google it!

The problem with quick fixes is that they don’t provide LASTING results. In the end they leave us feeling empty, hollow, and dissatisfied. The harsh reality remains, even in this fast-paced, hyper-caffeinated age, that most things of value take time. Why is that?

Quick fixes do not take SEQUENCE into account

To achieve true and lasting satisfaction in the most vital parts of your life, you must learn to do things in the proper sequence. You cannot decorate a kitchen without first laying the foundation of the house and then adding the frame and walls.

The sequence is vital, both in the physical world and in the world of human desires and dreams. Proper sequencing will give you the missing building blocks for the durable structures you seek, both internal and external.

What are some ways we mess up the sequence? These are just some examples:

• We have sex first, friendship second.
• We try to create wealth without first considering our values, our innate gifts, and what really makes our heats soar.
• We seek a degree to earn, rather than an education to learn
• We buy the right house, the right car, the right computer, the right vacation, and neglect to become the right person for ourselves.
• We pursue a prestigious job title to gain a sense of importance in the eyes of others.

In short, we understand everything backwards.

Let’s take a closer look at Relationships to better understand the importance of proper sequencing. Many of us try to gain satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of fulfillment by adding a new person to our lives. We go for what we think is the goal line and we lose what is important. And sometimes we unintentionally end up in needy, exhausting, and dysfunctional relationships.

What is the correct sequence to build meaningful relationships?

1. Learn to have a relationship with yourself first. Before you can have meaningful and fulfilling adult relationships with others, you must know who YOU ​​are. One of the main ways you can learn this is by discovering who you are NOT (ie you are not your stuff, your job, your thoughts, your self-image, your parents). This type of discovery requires commitment and attention, as well as spiritual and emotional courage. It cannot be rushed or quickly fixed. It requires slowing down and grounding yourself in what is real.

2. Accept yourself for what you ARE and for what you are NOT. Only by fully accepting who you are can you stop trying to “complete” yourself through other people. When you learn to look within, not without, your main source of satisfaction, you will stop using others as “solutions” for your own neurotic ends. You will naturally stop blaming others for anything that goes wrong in your life.

3. Enter relationships from a position of strength, creativity, and generosity, not need. Only a fully functional person, that is, someone who fully knows and accepts himself, is qualified to have a healthy, functional relationship with you. All relationships based on “need” drain your power.

There is a main reason why we constantly try to “skip sequences” and go for the quick fix

That reason is lack. We feel a void, a hole, an absence in our center and we seek to fill it by assimilating something outside of us. This feeling of lack causes us to speed up processes (such as forming relationships) to gorge ourselves and constantly think that there is never enough.

Where does this feeling of lack come from? This is a direct result of not taking step 1 above. We don’t bother to find out who we really are, and as a result, we leave feeling incomplete, broken, and needed. So our “minds” urge us to find quick solutions to fill the void.

What is the solution?

The first and foremost step is to “get out of your mind.” Only by repeatedly experiencing a silent state of inner presence, below the realm of thought, do you begin to glimpse your true nature. Once you get a true taste of the calm and deep fulfillment that lies within you, you begin to recognize that nothing you can consume or acquire in the outside world could ever come close to bringing the kind of satisfaction that is available simply by being and accepting the real you.

The more “out of your mind,” the greater the feeling of fulfillment you begin to bring to all areas of your life. You will realize that the “real you” is already magnificently whole, in fact infinitely. He does not lack anything; you need nothing. Once you know this firsthand, lack will no longer drive the bus in your life. Honoring your true self, in all its fullness and glory, becomes your number one priority.

When the real you becomes your priority, everything slows down and starts to happen naturally in the proper sequence. Relationships can now grow organically and maturely. Wealth and abundance can flow from sharing your true gifts and talents and doing what makes you happy. Radiant health can replace weakness, disease, and addiction, as you no longer feel the need to ingest poisons to give yourself a “fix.”

So the next time you’re feeling the urge for something or someone and you’re looking for a quick fix, spend some time alone with yourself. Reconnect with the real you that requires only your love and attention to feel whole.

Copyright 2008 – Michelle Rigg