Are gift-giving parents out of control? i want a ferrari

Are gift-giving parents out of control?

Prayed

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth and a Ferrari

If giving is better than receiving, when is giving inappropriate? This is the season of giving. Will we rain all kinds of gifts on our children, or is this time of year a teachable moment that will last throughout this season and beyond? Gifts, gifts, and more gifts result in more, more, and more clutter and, worse, missed lessons for the recipients. No, you can’t have a Ferrari. You have to wait until 16.

Unfortunately for the recipients, the gifts can trickle in throughout the year as prizes or rewards they don’t deserve. You, the donors, know who you are. Taking out the trash, making the bed, brushing your teeth, getting good grades, being nice to your sister, or setting the table are NOT occasions that deserve gifts. Enough already! There are special events every year that warrant giving gifts, but moderation is the watchword, even if you can afford the Ferrari.

Just because your ninth grader wants a $400 Gucci belt doesn’t mean he’ll get it. The latest iPhone? Forget it my friend. And I can’t believe what my grandson wanted for Christmas. I’ve never really heard of it, but it’s all the rage at his high school in Connecticut, and the kids are paying big bucks for it.

It’s a shirt called Supreme. Kids will pay several hundred dollars for the privilege of wearing a T-shirt that doesn’t even have Mickey Mantle’s name on the back. And according to my grandson, prices can reach a thousand dollars. OMG.

Even if you can afford fancy gifts, don’t. If the begging persists, my standard responses would be as follows:

• Use the money you have saved.

• Wait until you have saved enough.

• Maybe when you graduate from college.

• Yes of course. Not this year.

• Ask your grandmother.

• Do you need more Legos? You have enough to open your own Legoland. How about some Lincoln logs?

Learned lessons

Here is a lesson on giving. Depending on their age, buy your children some gifts that are meant for a child or family in need. Then, accompanied by your children, deliver the gifts to the family or organization that will distribute them. No, you can’t sit on my lap while I’m driving.

For example, Toys for Tots, sponsored by the United States Marine Corps, would welcome your contributions, as would your local homeless center. If your children are old enough to have money of their own, allow them the freedom to purchase gifts and decide on recipients in need. Remember, they are not the ones in need. If they are, ignore this paragraph.

Many houses of worship have ministries that reach out into the local community to serve those less fortunate. Giving is not limited to tangible gifts, but also includes giving the gift of your time to local organizations that serve the community. Time is the same as money.

Get rid of clutter and feel good about it

Do you have a garage or attic full of “stuff” that you or your children are not using? Don’t wait until gift-giving time of year to get rid of it. As a family, pick it up, pack up the car, and drive to the appropriate donation centers. Now, don’t you feel good? And the neighbors will stop talking about you.

A recent article in the New York Post caught my attention. Naomi Schaefer Riley’s “Present Tense” references best-selling author Marie Kondo, who wrote The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Ms. Kondo emphasizes a “minimalist” lifestyle. That sounds like a good idea, but my emphasis is less on clutter and more on establishing a culture in every home that practices the three Ks: Caring, Kompassion, and Kindness. Mark it but spell it correctly.

ancient times

During my childhood in ancient times, I didn’t expect much, my parents couldn’t afford much, and I didn’t get much when it came to gift-giving season or really all year round. All I ever wanted to survive in my neighborhood was four things that would make me the happiest kid on the block: a bike, a baseball glove, a baseball, and a pink Spalding. We use that pink rubber ball to play stoop ball and stickball.

As a father and grandfather, I did the same and never lavished expensive gifts on my children and grandchildren. He usually gave books, money, and good advice on the importance of reading and making your own decisions.

Yes, but it’s 2017.

This “me first” generation salivates over the latest electronic goodies, motorized toys, designer clothes and, God help us, video games. Don’t give up: instead, give to those in your community who need food, clothing, books, a bike, and maybe a baseball glove.