Relationships: Does someone just need to stay positive if they attract the wrong people?

While ideally you’ll end up with someone you get along with, it doesn’t mean that’s the case. Instead, one might have a tendency to end up with people who are not right for them.

an isolated incident

If this was something that one had only experienced once, it might be much easier for them to handle. It could be said that they were just unlucky and the next person they meet will be different.

This could mean that one will want to take their time before starting a new relationship, or they could be looking for someone else. If they would take their time, it could show that this is something that had a big effect on them.

another experience

Having said that, it could show that one wants to focus on another area of ​​their life for the time being. If, on the other hand, you start looking for another person, it could show that you want to change how you feel.

So starting a new relationship could be seen as a way to feel better about themselves, for example. Or, one might get the feeling that now is the time to find someone to be with.

A new beginning

Now, regardless of whether one would take a break or not, they might find that their next relationship is nothing like the last. Then it would have been one time and there will be nothing to worry about.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one simply ended up with someone who was not right for them. And now, for whatever reason, they’ve been able to attract someone who is.

The same history

However, while this could happen, one could also end up in a similar position to the one they were in before. At first, it may seem like they are with someone who is completely different.

But as time begins to pass, it could become very clear that they are with someone who is not right for them. There is also the possibility that it could be much worse, and one could be with someone who is abusive.

the same experience

Then one could end the relationship and end up with someone who is the same. As a result of this, this will end up being something that is no longer unique; it will be a way of life.

This area of ​​your life is going to be the same for people who have a tendency to attract people who are not right for them. If one is used to attract people who are abusive, it could make it much harder for them to handle what is going on.

Not better

On the one hand, they are going to be with someone who physically hurts them and/or belittles them. Being around these types of people will wear you down, and this will make it more difficult for you to manage other areas of your life.

At the same time, if you end up with people who aren’t right for you, it doesn’t mean you can overlook this area of ​​your life. As far as they’re concerned, this could be seen as the worst it can get, and they could experience a lot of frustration.

An approximation

If you were to talk to your friends about what they’ve been going through, they might tell you that you need to stay positive. And, by keeping your head up, so to speak, you will allow them to change your life.

One could keep this in mind and do what one can to ensure that they do not allow themselves to have negative thoughts. As you do this, you may find that this area of ​​your life begins to change.

A distraction

Being positive will have allowed them to change their circumstances, and then it could be said that their friends gave them good advice. Or if this wasn’t what their friends told them, it could have been what they heard online.

Alternatively, one might find that being positive does nothing for their life; it only makes it easier for them to tolerate what is happening. Therefore, your life is the same, but there is less resistance.

digging

So it might be a good idea for one to put positive thinking aside and take a look at what is going on inside them. On the one hand, they end up with a different person each time, but on the other hand, they are the ones who appear each time.

What this shows is that this is not a random process; in any case, it is by design. However, when one is not aware of how what is happening inside them is affecting their life, they may believe that they just end up with people like that.

going deeper

When it comes to the type of person one is (and is) attracted to, it’s often the result of what happened when they were younger. The kind of experiences you had during this time can define what you feel comfortable with.

For example, if your caregivers were abusive during this time, this may end up being what feels safe. Then it’s not going to matter how much time passes, because what’s going on inside them will be the same.

Awareness

When it comes to moving forward, there will be what is going on in your mind and what is going on in your body. Above, it will relate to your thoughts and beliefs, and below, it will relate to your feelings and sensations.

There is also the possibility that your body has trauma. Here the assistance of a therapist or a healer may be necessary.