Lessons of the soul without ties
Having read several of my books, blogs, and articles, by now you probably know that, like Michael Singer, I think we are trying to do something that is not working: we are trying to find love, joy, happiness, etc. outside of us. We are trying to control something that is not under our control: other people and the world around us. Everything we want to experience is part of our inner landscape; they are not somewhere to be found.
Singer in his book, the unattached soul, helps you explore your inner landscape, an activity that for me has been a journey of a lifetime. It begins by asking him to observe his self-concept and the internal dialogue he engages in with himself. Once you start to think about and explore the concept of self, you quickly realize that “… the concept of ‘I’ may turn out to be a bit more elusive than initially assumed.”
As a human being, you have been blessed and cursed for your ability to think about your thinking. The blessing is that it is in the world of your thoughts where you can control your experiences in life. The curse is that you are probably looking at the world for specific experiences and your internal dialogue acts as a judge of what is going on around you. Breaking the barrier of this thinking from the inner and outer world will free you from your perceived problems.
So how do you start to do this? You become intimately aware of your inner roommate, the voice within you. You recognize that your inner voice will never be happy and at peace, and you let go of the “I”. You acknowledge that: “Your consciousness is actually experiencing your mental model of reality, not reality itself.” When you see a problem, you stop asking yourself, “What should I do about it?” and start asking, “What part of me is being disturbed by this?” What part of me is ________ (jealous, angry, frustrated, irritated, etc.)? Singer says, “You won’t be able to solve anything on the outside until you are aware of how the situation affects you on the inside.” For a man unfamiliar with Perceptual Control Theory (PCT), he has grasped one of its greatest lessons. Disturbance is an inside job.
Letting go of the inner judge and shifting your thinking to what I like to call the balcony view immediately relieves stress. My good friend Andrea Christopher once described it this way: it’s like I’m the math problem, then I’m solving the math problem, and finally I see myself solving the math problem. “You don’t have to think about it or analyze it; you can just be aware of it.” Doing this allows you to let go of the “I”.
From the balcony you allow yourself to “experience every note that can touch the heart”. Recognize that everything is just information and it is up to you to calm the roommate and relax in the moment. Singer provided me with a more spiritual perspective on PCT, which is a very scientific explanation of human behavior.
This book was like diving to the bottom of the pool of my own soul. PCT with a spiritual twist. I loved!