I hooked up with my ex boyfriend! Why was that a horrible idea?

You’ve gone and done it, haven’t you? With all the lingering feelings you still have for your ex boyfriend, you made the fateful move of hooking up with him once. It may have been more than that, but your hope in doing so was to rekindle his feelings for you. It seems like a logical step to take when you love a man. Make him feel closer to you by any means possible, right? Mistaken! Flirting with an ex-boyfriend is one of the worst mistakes a woman can make if her goal is to have a committed and loving future with him that includes respect. By opening that can of worms, you may have ruined your chances of getting your ex boyfriend to see you as a potential girlfriend again.

How your ex boyfriend sees connecting with you

Do you know how you felt more in love with your ex boyfriend than ever after the two of you spent intimate time together? You probably won’t feel that at all. Men are not programmed to view intimacy in the same way that we are. They don’t see it as a bridge to a deeper, more meaningful connection. It is not just about promises and enduring devotion towards them. For a man, whether he has loved you once or not, flirting is just that. He sees you as someone he can turn to when he needs to satisfy his physical desires. If you continue this behavior with him, you should know that he will start to see you as someone he can turn to only for intimate encounters.

Why I’m Likely To Break Your Heart Again

If you connect with your ex boyfriend and try to act cool, he’ll assume you’re okay with that being the focus of your relationship. He won’t understand that your goal is to have a second chance with him. Instead, he’ll assume you’re okay with things exactly the way they are.

If you spend intimate time with him and then tell him that you still love him and want more, he may regress to the point where he stops talking to you altogether. The reason this is likely to happen is that if he sees your current relationship as one that focuses on a casual hookup when it’s convenient for both of you, a commitment, or even the suggestion of a commitment, it will surely scare him off. .

How to change the dynamics of your relationship now

It’s understandable why you might see the connection as a bridge to something more with your ex-boyfriend. You may see intimacy as the first step back into his heart. It may not be and so you have to make sure that the relationship involves something more than that.

Talk to your ex boyfriend about how you feel. You’ll quickly understand how you view what you share with him by his immediate reaction. If you don’t hear from him for days after you explain that you want more than casual intimacy, chances are he isn’t looking for anything more. If he begins to work with you towards a much more complete connection, you will know that he is looking for the same thing that you are.

If you’ve talked to him and you’re still constantly trying to be in a relationship, it may be time to start suggesting that the two of you hang out somewhere other than the bedroom. Invite him to dinner or suggest that you go see a movie. Make it clear that she wants more than what she is currently sharing.

Emotionally disconnect from your ex boyfriend

You may have to learn to emotionally disconnect from him if his only focus is getting together to share intimate moments. This isn’t going to be easy, but it shows your ex boyfriend that you’re not comfortable being just his occasional lover and that you want more.

If you’ve explained to him, in no uncertain terms, that you’re not happy with your current arrangement and he continues to insist on more privacy, he’s no longer available. Do not agree to see it. Tell him you have other plans and be serious. Go out, he meets new people, go out with friends and start living your life again.

If your ex boyfriend still has lingering feelings for you, he will pursue you and want to spend time with you in an environment and in a way that you feel comfortable with. It may take him some time to realize that he needs you emotionally and not just physically. You need to stay strong and determined as this continues.

It’s very easy to fall back into the trap of hitting on him because you can feel him pulling away if you don’t. Allow that to happen because his strength in doing so will show you that you are emotionally independent and can survive, and even flourish, without a connection to him.

Always remember that you are worth the value you place on yourself and should never settle for less than what you personally feel you deserve. If you don’t want to be the woman your ex-boyfriend sees as his “go to” her, don’t be. Change the relationship by showing him that you are not going to settle for what he wants. You will stay focused on the relationship you want.