Children’s Behavior Management – Children 5, Adults 0 – Not the result you want!
More problems to solve in a conventional school, but some good examples of how things can go wrong and what to do about bad behavior…
I closely follow what happens in the schools where the children who have been recommended to me go. Because? Largely so that the children know that I am aware of what they are doing and able to deal with problems as they arise. Also, I can help teachers learn how to manage behavior effectively. There is very little training available to manage children’s behavior, and since much of what is available is inaccurate, unclear, and largely nonsensical, adults need all the help they can get!
Anyway, yesterday morning I called a school to get a report on a boy, Jack, who has recently moved into Year 5. His new class teacher has recently started at the school and he is only in his second year of teaching. As with so many others, she is only expected to know about handling children, no training or guidance has been provided to her.
I always emphasize that it is the action you take when a situation has the potential to go wrong that measures your success as a behavior manager. If you haven’t been trained to deal with potentially difficult situations, then how the hell are you supposed to know what action to take? It’s no wonder that a lack of confidence in managing behavior in the classroom is cited as the number one reason teachers leave the profession. Insufficient behavior management training is abusive to young teachers…and kids!
Out of your soap box Liz… what happened next?
I was told that Jack had started arguing with a teaching assistant when he had a paper to do the previous afternoon. The adult tried to get him to do the job, but Jack became increasingly clumsy and argumentative, becoming quite verbally aggressive. The more the adult insisted, the more Jack insisted and he argued even more. At this point it is essential that adults take effective measures to assert their authority. What did you do? Hm, I’m sorry, but they didn’t do the right thing.
They became increasingly concerned that pushing Jack to do the job would create a volatile situation and feared it would turn more violent, so they backed off and gave Jack some color to fill in.
OH NO! A perfect example of rewarding unacceptable behaviour, and just about the worst thing to do!
And the result?
Jack 5, Adult NIL…full control given to a 9 year old…not the result you wanted…
So where did that leave me and what did I do? I gently told the teacher that she had done something wrong but that she could correct herself. I had to let her know that she would support her to make sure she felt safe to take the necessary actions. The unfortunate thing is that if simple behavior management techniques had been applied years ago, when a much smaller and younger Jack started flexing his little muscles, a great deal of misery would have been avoided, but again, if everyone could just do the same. that I do. then I’d be out of a job… hm, maybe I’m shooting myself in the foot here and I should shut up…
With the plan firmly in place, Jack arrived and had to face the consequences of the previous afternoon’s terrible behavior: first letters of apology to both adults at the school, in his own time. Then they told him that if he behaved inappropriately again, there would be more consequences. It would be up to him whether he had to face the consequences or not: behave appropriately and the consequences wouldn’t have to happen, very simple really! He received the message that he was not at all happy with the news he had received from the school.
Jack left for school that afternoon, after being reminded to deliver the letters to the adults and offer a verbal apology as well as the letters for his misbehavior. Later that afternoon I decided to check back later on how things were going. They were absolutely fine: Jack was doing well in class and wearing good manners like they were going out of style!
Consequences focus children’s minds: they need to know that misbehavior will not be tolerated and that adults mean what they say and will implement consequences if the need arises.
Did the end work? A happy toddler plus adults with increasing confidence in behavior management…that’s what makes the work worth it!