Understanding Corpspeak

September 14, 2021 0 Comments

For all college graduates or anyone entering the corporate world, this article is for you.

Those of us who work in the corporate world for a period of time have become very fluent in body language. We can speak and understand the language. However, for those who are new to this work environment, they should be familiar with some common body language terms and what they mean. Below are some common body language terms along with their actual meaning.

“I will return to you.” Meaning: “I don’t know the answer. I’ll leave you speechless for a week and I hope you forget about it.”

“My computer is slow today” Meaning: “Between Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and pornography, I have so many websites open that I cannot find the file you are looking for.”

“With all due respect …” That is, “Get ready because I’m about to tell you something very disrespectful.”

“I’ll send you an email.” Meaning: “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Let me hang up and I’ll try to find the answer.”

“Just a quick follow-up …” I mean, “It’s been three weeks since I asked you about that. You said you’d call me back.”

“I was in a meeting.” That is, “I was in the bathroom.”

“I was on a conference call.” Meaning: See “I was in a meeting.”

“I’ll just give you the general outlines.” Meaning: “I was half paying attention to the guy who gave me the answer. I’m going to repeat some vague sentences that I remember him saying and I hope that’s enough for you.”

“I don’t want you to reinvent the wheel.” Meaning: “I don’t care what you have to do, just give me the answer.”

“That number is a moving target.” Meaning: “For some reason, I can’t understand why we’re leaving. I know I look really stupid right now.”

“Think out of the box.” Meaning: There is no translation for this phrase. It means absolutely nothing. There is no box that no one thinks of outside.

Have a nice day. Let’s make lunch!

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