Parents, children and alone time
“What are some of the ways that you explain to the children that mom and
Daddy needs alone time, without feeling guilty about it?”
A journalist, writing an article about having alone time and couple time.
When you have children, you asked me this question.
Parents will feel guilty only when they think they are doing
something wrong with spending time alone and with your partner without your
children.
This is a false belief.
The truth is that children grow up much healthier emotionally when their
parents are happy and satisfied, even if it means their parents spend
less time with them. When parents understand that they are being good
parents when talking about loving care for themselves and their relationship, their
children will understand this.
One way to help children understand this is to introduce the concept
of “alone time” very early in a child’s life. When a child is three years old, he
or can easily understand the concept of alone time. If every time you
spend time alone with your child, you say, “This is our alone time,” your
the child will begin to understand the concept. when you have time to
For yourself, you can say, “This is my time alone with myself.” When you
spending time with your partner, you can say, “This is mommy and daddy time
alone together.” Parents can tell their children, as soon as they are
able to understand the words, “We need time alone with you, with
between us and with ourselves. We must all respect this of each other
other.”
Our three children fully understood the concept of “alone time” because
we spent time alone with each of them. They came to understand and
Respect from a very young age the need for alone time.
If you step aside and don’t take time for yourself anymore
your partner, you are giving your children an unhealthy role model. You
They are teaching them that others are always responsible for fulfilling their
needs. You are teaching them to feel entitled to your time and attention.
instead of helping them learn to respect other people’s time. you are teaching
that it is okay to demand that others step aside for them,
which can create narcissistic behavior.
Healthy parenting means finding a balance between being with your
children, being with your partner and being with yourself. For you
children to grow up taking responsibility for their own needs and
feelings, they need to see you taking responsibility for their needs and
feelings. Constantly sacrificing for your children is useless
personal responsibility model.
Children need to experience that you and your spouse enjoy your time.
with each other, as well as with yourselves. they need to see you
pursue your work, hobbies, creativity and passions in order to
understand that they also need to find their passions. if you are always
there to meet the needs of their children, how can they find out who they are?
and what brings you joy? Always being there to meet your children.
entertainment needs creates a dependency on others rather than
find these resources within themselves.
Many people grow up not knowing how to be alone with themselves.
Because they were always in front of a television or entertained by
their parents, they never figured out how to “play by themselves.”
Of course, it is very important to have enough alone time with your
children. But it’s just as important to get plenty of alone time with your
spouse and yourself. When you understand this, you will stop
Feeling guilty about taking time alone. when you no longer feel
guilty, your children will learn to stop blaming you and to respect your
needs.